DO YOU KNOW?
WOMAN AT HOME
SCENE: WOMAN IS WATCHING TV. UPSTAIRS HER KIDS ARE SLEEPING.
TV ANNOUNCER: It’s 10:00. Do you know where your children are?
WOMAN: Yes, they’re upstairs sleeping.
TV ANNOUNCER: Well la-de-freaking-da.
WOMAN: Excuse me?
TV ANNOUNCER: You heard me, Ms. “Oh-my-children-are-so-secure.” You know, other families aren’t quite that lucky!
WOMAN: I know we’re quite lucky indeed.
TV ANNOUNCER: No need to be smug about it. Your kind make me sick.
WOMAN: I’m sorry. I-
TV ANNOUNCER: How do you know that your kids won’t be into drugs in a few years?
WOMAN: Because I trust my kids. They tell me everything.
TV ANNOUNCER: Well don’t you have just the ideal life, Mrs. Walton?
WOMAN: I’d like to think so. What are you trying to prove?
TV ANNOUNCER: Look, lady, my job is to inspire trepidation in the hearts of parents. How can I do my job if you’re so freaking sure of yourself?
WOMAN: Well, do you want me to wake my kids up and send them out to play in a dark alley? Would that make you feel better?
TV ANNOUNCER: Are you patronizing me?
WOMAN: No, not at all. *Runs upstairs* C’mon kids, wake up, it’s time to play outside.
KIDS’ VOICES: Do we have to?
WOMAN: Yes, now get your coats.
WOMAN AND KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS.
KID 1: But it’s scary outside.
KID 2: And there are drugs and stuff.
KID 1: And I was having a good dream.
KID 2: And I have a big test tomorrow.
WOMAN: You need to see the real world. Now go.
KIDS: Aw man.
AN HOUR LATER, WOMAN IS STILL IN FRONT OF TV.
TV ANNOUNCER: It’s 11:00. Do you know where your children are?
WOMAN: …Oh my God, my kids!